Divorce is considered to be the second most stressful event in a person’s lifetime. No matter how old you are and how long you were married, divorcing someone is not easy.
It makes you rethink everything you thought you knew about love up to that very moment.
But after some time goes by and your feelings are healed, you might want to put yourself out there and start over with someone else. Some people think that there is no life after a divorce.
But, we are here to prove that that is wrong thinking and that dating after divorce can sometimes be the best thing that has happened to you.
Before you start dating
Before you start dating again, there are some things we recommend doing first. Not only is this necessary for your happiness but for your future partners’ happiness too.
The main thing to having this all turn out as you planned it to be is to be single for a while. Being single makes you appreciate spending time with yourself.
And we believe that a happy person is a person who knows how to be alone and not mind being alone.
To some, this might not make any sense but it is extremely important that you realize that you are all you need.
There are a lot of people who haven’t been single in a long time.
Whether it is because they were married or in a long term relationship, not being single makes you depend on your significant other more than you should.
This is why we are telling you that being single is important. This is the perfect time to self-reflect.
After moving out of your old house, the old neighbourhood, maybe even town, it’s time that you start appreciating yourself more.
This is when the only person you should be investing your time in is yourself and your family and friends. And there are many ways you can invest time into yourself:
- Change something about your appearance- get a manicure, get a haircut, dye your hair
- Spoil yourself – go to the spa, get a massage, go shopping
- Entertain yourself – go to the cinema or theatre
- Relax – read a book in the park or on the beach, drink coffee alone in a cafe
- Be more active – take a walk at least twice a week, go hiking
- Find a new hobby – hiking, painting, writing, photography
- Take a mini-vacation by yourself.
Being alone doesn’t always mean being sad and depressed.
As you can see, there are many things that you can do alone. You might think that doing them with someone else is much better, and yes, you are right.
But everyone knows how to spend time with other people and people who know how to enjoy being alone are rare.
Get over your ex-spouse
Before you start dating you have to make sure that you are completely over your ex-spouse.
That’s why you also have to spend some time being single after divorce yet still not on the market looking for a new significant other.
Remember that missing the person you divorced is completely normal no matter how much time you’ve spent together. But if the marriage was long and you have built a lot together, missing them won’t stop soon.
But you have to realize that sometimes you don’t miss the love and the marriage, you miss the comfort. Comfort zone is the worst thing.
And we tend to stay in our comfort zone and once we’re out, we freak out and panic and don’t know what to do. So being single will also make you change your comfort zone.
You will be your own comfort zone. And what’s better than that?
Freeing yourself from your comfort zone might not be easy but you have to go through it.
Tips for dating after divorce
Now that you know how to be single, it is time to go out and find yourself a date.
But there are a lot of mistakes people make when it comes to dating after divorce and we are going to point them out so you don’t make the same mistakes and save yourself the trouble.
Your ex-spouse is not your type. Don’t go around looking for someone who resembles your ex-spouse in any way.
You need something new and fresh. Something that will bring you different feelings and vibes.
Take it slow. Finding the right person takes time and this shouldn’t scare you or discourage you. And it won’t if you learned how to be single. That is another reason why it’s important.
Don’t hide that you were married. Hiding your ex marriage on the first few dates is a terrible idea. Being open about it on the first date is a nice way to show that you are a happy, confident person.
Don’t hide your past. Embrace it.
Search for someone of your own age. Dating younger or older people after a divorce might seem more fun but it’s actually more logical that you find someone your age.
It will make your bond stronger as you grew up in the era and experienced some things at the same time.
Use dating apps and sites. It’s the 21st century, why not use what is given to you? Get on a dating app or a website and start chatting with people. This is a nice way to meet new people and maybe score a date or two.
Listen to your instinct. If your instincts tell you to go home early, go home early. If you feel like it’s not going to work out, be open about it after the date ends.
And if you feel like it’s a good idea to hook up, go ahead. Listen to your heart and do whatever makes you happy as long as you aren’t hurting anyone in any way.
And remember to always have fun.