Breakups can get difficult, sometimes. It can lead us from being a dedicated lover to an occasional lover in no time. But we all know what is more difficult than a breakup. It is the process of moving on. The process of getting closure because even after countless sleepless nights spent watching the heartbreaking romantic movies and the time spent looking at the old pictures and hogging over junk food, it just seems impossible to escape the feeling of being stuck.
Having a meltdown with a feeling of rage within us is completely normal after a breakup. But comes along with it the memory loop, which just accumulates all the doubts and unnecessary assumptions.
So, the question is how do we find ourselves, “Closure” and if the last conversation was supposed to be the end, then do we really need a closure?
Let’s consider a few things before we move towards making that “one last call”.
1. What will be the conclusion?
In the process of getting ourselves a closure, what is that we are really going to conclude from that one last conversation? Will it curb our anxiety or give rise to new insecurities? What if it leaves us feeling more hopeless or maybe a little too hopeful. What if it leaves us in between nowhere?
It is very important to know if we are strong-headed and not easily susceptible to emotions, before having that one last conversation.
2. Was it a non-toxic relationship or a toxic relationship?
We all have been engaged in a toxic and non-toxic relationship, in our journey of love. But, it is very important to acknowledge the type of relationship we had.
If it was a non-toxic relationship, there is no harm in asking the questions which might be creating havoc in our mind but if it was one of those destructive, noxious relationships, then it is always better to live with some blank answers.
Because it is for our betterment to be as far away from toxicity than living with toxicity.
3.What about the persistent anger?
Even if we are known for our anger management skills, separation from our significant others can easily give rise to the meaningless insecurities, which in turn can linger the anger within us. If we think about it, everyone has their way of dealing with this anger.
Some might use outburst as their way of relieving anger and some might alleviate in solitude. Whatever the way, it is very important to address persistent anger.
No good can come out of holding anger, it will only make us more uncomfortable with expressing our emotions and it is never acceptable to be emotionally weak.
5. Were you left at a cliff-hanger?
Being in a relationship, where there is no definite end can be daunting. In a lot of cases, there is no proper ending to a relationship. Sometimes the breakup is just out of the blue and sometimes we never hear from our partners.
This open-ending can be demeaning and leave us hanging on a cliff. So how do we seek closure in such a case? There are countless questions, which runs in our mind in such a situation and these questions are capable enough of messing with ourselves.
In such a situation, it is always better to get your doubts cleared, to put an end to those unwanted questions. It will make it a lot easier for us to find that prolonged peace.
5. Will it there ever be the one last time?
It is so normal to have the urge of talking to our exes for the one last time. If only we could hear their voices for the last time. If only we could meet them for the last time.
But, will it really be the one last time? Will the last time put an end to our compulsive thinking or do we get caught in this vivacious circle of one last time? Are we strong enough to let it go or are we just using chances as an excuse? If the former is the case, then there can be one last time and if it is the latter, chances are that we are just fooling ourselves.
We all have experienced those impulsive moments, moments where our mind cannot focus on anything and our heart is in no mood of cooperation. This feeling of mixed emotions can give rise to a lot of doubts and insecurities.
What we need to know is that ultimately, everything is in our control. We are the ones who know how to handle our minds and we have the absolute power of controlling it and it’s just us and no one else.
So, do we really need closure? The answer to this might differ from relationship to relationship. But the post-breakup syndrome is pretty much universal.
There are a lot of things in our lives which are better if left untouched and so could be the act of closure. It is not necessary to know the answer to all the why’s but it is necessary to know how to accept.
Because it is always better to live in the present, at least it frees us from unnecessary scares of the past and the future.