Do you believe that a long distance relationship can work? Have you ever been in one?
People have different attitudes towards such relationships and they are usually based on their own experiences. There are some common problems that lovers living far away from one another encounter. They all agree that being in a long distance relationship is not easy.
Now, lets take a look at those problems and try to find the solutions.
Jealousy and trust are the main issues in long distance relationships
Jealousy is a very common problem in any romantic relationship. Living who-knows-how-many miles apart is not helpful at all.
Jealous people are often quite insecure about themselves and that is why it is difficult for them to trust their partners. Be that as it may, people need to agree to have a long distance relationship before one of them embraces the idea of moving out of North Miami Beach area with ease.
Some important topics like jealousy and trust need to be discussed before the move.
Remember, a long distance relationship cannot survive if you do not trust each other. The fact that you are not living together does not mean that you should turn into a detective and start inspecting everything that your partner does.
Stop stalking him/her on social networks and calling every hour to check what they are doing. If your partner feels that you cannot trust them, they can easily drift away despite the love he/she feels for you.
Out of sight, out of mind
A lot of long distance relationships don’t make it through the first month of being apart. That usually happens to the couples whose relationship was based on the physical rather than their emotions.
Since the physical aspect is more or less out of the equation when you live in different cities or states, it makes sense that your relationship is in question.
Sometimes, people are just not mature enough for being in a long distance relationship. Even though they might be head over heels in love with their girlfriend or boyfriend, young people often do not understand what they are getting themselves into here.
But, when there’s a will, there’s a way. If you are determined to make this relationship work and keep the flame burning you should go for it. Talk to your partner and let them know what you miss the most about him/her.
Many couples rely on Skype, Viber and social networks for communication with their loved ones now that they are apart. Even sexting is an option if you and your partner are on the same page about it.
If video calls and messages are just not enough for you, then you should try to set a date with your partner whenever possible. Nothing can replace the real contact with your loved one, so practice regular visits.
Feeling lonely and missing your partner too much
Living apart from the person you love is very hard. When you are together, there are many things in your everyday love life that you take for granted.
Going out together and being intimate are the things that you know you are going to miss when you are apart. However, once you move away or your partner does so, you will start missing the small things.
You will be nostalgic for all the little rituals you had, even those that used to drive you crazy. You will miss everything about your partner. The good piece of advice is to focus on what brought the two of you together (similar life philosophy, common sexual interests, or mutual taste in music), rather than what keeps you apart.
It is completely normal to feel lonely when you are apart from your partner. It gets even worse when you and your boyfriend or girlfriend live in different time zones.
Being unable to talk to him or her when you really need to can be very frustrating and make you feel even more lonely. Sometimes, the busy working schedules can be the ones keeping you from contacting your partner.
What you should learn is to be tolerant. And, you will need a lot of patience if you are determined to make your relationship work.
Some daily reminders of the love you share with your partner can help you feel less lonely. You can:
- decorate your new place with photos of your special occasions like moving in together or the first Christmas you spent as a couple,
- keep an item of clothing that belongs to him/her,
- make a playlist of songs that remind you of what the two of you have together,
- have a little bottle of perfume that he or she uses so that you can sniff it whenever in crisis,
- read the romantic messages (or love letters if you have them) from your partner – almost every long distance relationship can work if you still love each other and communicate properly
Miscommunication is fatal for long distance communication
You need to find the right balance between spending hours on the phone talking to each other and not hearing from one another for days.
However, the most important aspect of your communication is not in the time spent talking or texting. It is about quality.
You should be able to tell your partner the way you really feel – be that nostalgic, jealous or even angry at times. Similarly, you need to be prepared to hear the same from him or her. You should never bottle up your feelings, especially not when in a long distance relationship.
When you are communicating face to face, you are able to notice even the smallest elements of nonverbal communication.
A smile, shrug, wink or look away can speak more than a thousand words. But when you are talking on the phone you are unable to notice those things.
That can easily lead to miscommunication. Similarly, a typing error or wrong emoji can trigger a fight.
The key is in being patient and tolerant. Remember, if you and your partner cannot find a way to communicate properly, your long distance relationship will not be a successful one.