Breakups are not easy for anyone, and there are plenty of ways that we try to cope with the pain and move on. Some of these coping mechanisms are healthy and encourage us to grow as a person while others can be a bit toxic and lead us into thinking and behavior patterns that may negatively impact our future relationships.
Whether you were the one who did the breaking up or the one receiving the breakup, it’s important to recognize this as an opportunity to grow and learn. It’s not the end of the world, even though it may feel like it at the time. Throw on a pair of your dopest gold chains and a fly outfit before hitting the town with the friends to keep your mind off the breakup. Try implementing some of the healthier coping mechanisms on our list, as well, and, remember, time heals all wounds.
Journaling It Out
Writing in a journal is one of the best activities you can do for your mental health for so many reasons. Expressing your emotions and thoughts via writing can help you prioritize and gain a greater understanding of yourself and your experience. If you’re exhibiting symptoms of depression or anxiety, journaling your feelings and fears is also a great way to identify those symptoms, figure out triggers, and track improvements.
After a breakup, many of us feel a sense of self-doubt and lowered self-esteem, but we need to remember that this isn’t about us, and we are worthy of a loving, caring relationship. Don’t filter yourself when journaling. Let it all out. Think of your journal as a therapist who doesn’t do much talking back, instead of letting you get to the root of your problems through your own ability to think and reason.
Talking with Friends and Family
Similar to the benefits of journaling, talking to people who are close to you about your problems and your post-breakup feelings is a healthy way to communicate your emotions and work through them. Many of the most important people in your life probably have had some similar experiences that they have overcome, which grants them a different perspective. Through their own experiences, they can share encouraging advice with you and provide a support system to encourage you to also overcome your own relationship struggles.
If you were recently broken up with, you are probably experiencing at least some of those feelings of self-doubt that we mentioned previously. Self-assurance comes from within—not from how other people judge and value us. Of course, everyone cares about what people think, even if we would prefer not to, but the important thing is learning how to balance that urge with your own inner confidence. A breakup can definitely shake our self-confidence, so we need to implement self-care routines to boost our sense of worth and make sure that we’re taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Self-care can come in many forms. Maybe you want to start eating a new, healthier diet or exercising more. Maybe you want to implement a more in-depth skincare routine. For some, self-care can mean starting a journal or trying an activity or project you’ve been meaning to get around to but keep putting off. Take care of yourself, so that you’re looking and feeling good.
The more confidence you have, the easier it will become to dust that breaks up off your shoulders and moves on to something better. Although retail therapy is usually a very temporary, materialistic fix to a problem, it can be a form of self-care to treat yourself to a special purchase, sometimes, like a new set of gold chains or a cool outfit.
Working out is definitely a form of self-care, but not just for your physical body. Exercising releases endorphins, which are hormones in your brain that release feelings of joy and euphoria. So, the more you work out, the more these hormones will be released as a kind of natural mood booster.
Although sometimes it can be hard to motivate yourself, especially when going through a fresh breakup, once you start, you’ll definitely notice an improvement in your emotional state. Plus, as you continue to work out and see the physical results, it tends to increase your self-confidence and make you a healthier person overall.
Having a Girls’/Guys’ Night Out
Sometimes the best way to recover from a bad breakup is to just forget about it. And, the best way to forget about it is to have fun. Plan a night with your ladies or the homies and go all out. Wear your best look, and head to the club or a fancy dinner.
Getting out of the house may sound exhausting when you’ve been moping around, but, once you’re out and distracted from thoughts of your past relationship, you just might realize you’re having the best time you’ve had in a while. Although a night out is a good idea from time to time, be careful not to lean on this coping mechanism too heavily. Balance going out with taking care of your body and your mental health.
Keep Your Coping Mechanisms Healthy
We all can feel emotionally fragile after a breakup and be tempted to lock ourselves in our rooms and watch TV under the safety of our covers for the rest of eternity. But, none of that is going to help you recover from a broken heart. In fact, it will probably make you feel even worse over time.
Sure, go ahead and take a couple of days to mope, but then it’s time to pull yourself together and start taking steps to get over your previous relationship and get into a good headspace to enjoy your single life or start dating again.
Getting dressed up in your going-out clothes with some iced-out gold chains and spending a night at the club are good ways to have fun and forget about the breakup, but you need to balance these types of activities with healthy ones like journaling or exercising. Focus on yourself and building up your confidence—you’ll be feeling back to normal in no time.